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  • Writer's pictureAlison

Working through conflict

When we get into conflict with someone it is human nature to take a position, typically something like; I am right, you are wrong. It’s a very binary position, and things are rarely that simple. When you find yourself in some type of conflict, these are three powerful perspectives I encourage you to take.

  • Examine all the systemic forces and context that you are both surrounded by and influencing your different positions. In an organisation this could be internal factors such as lack of clarity around the structure, roles, scope, resource, etc. It could be external stressors outside of your control such as geopolitical….now, how personal is it really?

  • Connect beneath the position you are taking, looking at what mutual interests and values are driving your stance…now, where do you have common ground? What do you both passionately care about?

  • Invite them to examine what happens if the other person is 10% right….. then 20 % right “ What perspective might I be missing? What is in my blind spot?

I thought I would also share a powerful quote by Rumi

“…out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing. There is a field I’ll meet you there”.

When I see my clients arrive in this space their bodies shift, their breathing changes, their adult brain is engaged and they can more quickly find a way through, often deepening the once troubled relationship.


Hope this is useful and use it well.

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