In reflecting on the recent period of mourning for Queen Elizabeth II, I have found it has been a collective and individual experience. Our emotional response and engagement with those extraordinary 10 days of ritual has brought up for many their own past losses and grief. This is very natural. Loss can feel really isolating, personal and invisible to others. Often in an organisational setting people don’t ask about it as they fear not being able to handle the reply or the emotions that might come with it. Yet we have all experienced loss.
I am not a grief counsellor, but through my work as a coach in this space, this is what I have found useful and offer these reminders so we can gently travel through our own losses, or support others in their journey.
Sitting with your own loss/es:
It’s ok not to be ok
There is no one way
There are no rules to how we should grieve or experience our emotions
Grief and loss can be messy and there is no timescale
Sometimes the more complicated the relationship, the more complicated the grief
If you are supporting someone with loss:
Don’t try to fix, diminish or compare
Listen and be your best compassionate self
Ask them what they need, and if they don’t know that’s fine too.
Of course this list is not exhaustive and I would really value any wisdom or experience you wanted to share. Take care and remember to seek support at any point you think you need it.